It's easy to think that it should be a very efficient and streamlined way to meet women, and that if you simply message enough women en-mass, that you will eventually find someone who is interested in dating or hooking up with you, all without even going outside your front door. It sounds very logical, doesn't it?
One popular dating site even claims that '1 in 4 relationships now start online'. So? That means that 3 out of 4, i.e. 75%, don't. Boohoo.
In truth, the reality doesn't live up to the theory, and in this post I'll go into the reasons why.
A recent study has shown that online dating isn't as efficient or as promising as we think.
When it comes to meeting women online, you can use sites designed specifically for that purpose, either dating sites (designed to help you find someone who wants a monogamous/serious relationship) and hook-up sites (designed to help you find someone for casual sex), or you can try meeting women on social network sites such as Facebook, Twitter etc.
Personally I don't recommend you do any of that, I recommend you meet women in the real world.
How internet dating and meeting women online is stacked against men
Going back 10 or 15 years ago, the internet was still a relatively new thing and using it to meet women online was a novelty that actually did work reasonably well because people were excited about trying something so new as a way to meet people. Not so many people were doing it, and the market was not so over-crowded. You could go into a chat room, get chatting to someone, exchange email addresses and phone numbers, and then meet up with them shortly afterwards.
But fast forward to 2015 and that's all drastically changed. Internet dating has now become really over-saturated, and thus the effect has been neutralised, and it is now not an effective or efficient way of meeting women at all. In fact, the odds are severely stacked against men when it comes to meeting women online, so let's go into the reasons why.
- On every dating or hook-up site, men outnumber women drastically, and most women get 100 messages or more per day from men who want to get with them. So before your message even gets read or replied to, you have to compete with around 100 other guys. Knowing this fact, why the hell would you try meeting women on a dating or hook-up site? But most guys are clueless and unaware of this fact, blindly messaging women in the hope that they'll get somewhere with them.
- When you give a woman a compliment or comment about her looks online, it doesn't have the same effect as complimenting a women in person. This is because most women who are online get dozens of comments every day on dating sites, their social media etc from men commenting on their looks, saying things like 'wow, you're so pretty'. These men are fawning over the women. So if you come along and make a comment on a woman's looks online, you'll just blend in with every other guy online. Also, it takes NO BALLS to compliment a woman online. Women have become immune to online compliments, and they just wash over them without any effect.
On the other hand, if you approach a woman in person, in the real world, Direct, and give her a genuine compliment on her looks, it makes a much bigger impression and it also shows you have true confidence and balls.
- Women can easily cut you off and ignore you online by just suddenly stopping talking to you. Sure, that could happen in real life too, but it seems to happen a lot more online in my experience.
- It's too easy to get caught up being a woman's 'online digital communication buddy' who she talks to online and uses for attention and an ego boost, but never meets up with you in person.
- Many dating and social media sites etc don't like people using sexual or erotic language, and they don't like men being too upfront and honest about their sexual intentions. It's too easy to get banned on these sites for being sexually Direct. Whereas in the real world, you can say whatever the fuck you want to women, and be as sexual and erotic as you want with your words.
- Hooking up with someone online is too slow. You have to message tons of women and wait for a reply (if you get any replies at all), and then you have to exchange messages back and forth on the site. Then you have to swap email addresses or phone numbers. Then you usually get caught up texting back and forth. All this is before you even get a chance to meet up with the woman in person. And sometimes guys do all this, but the women always makes an excuse and rejects them when they ask her to meet up in person. Often women will say things like 'well, let's get to know each other a bit more online first before we meet up (or before we talk on the phone)'. Ironically, by talking to her online for longer and longer, you're just getting more into the zone of being her online buddy. It can literally take weeks of back and forth conversation to secure or a date, or worse, end up with nothing for all that effort.
Contrast this to a Direct guy who meets women in real life. You could easily meet a woman in the street during the daytime, take her for a coffee date there and then, and get her back to your place (or her place, or somewhere neutral) and have sex with her the same day you meet her. Online dating is just so slow and inefficient in comparison.
- All a woman has to go on is a guy's photos and profile when she talks to him online. It's very hard to convey your real personality, confidence and demeanor over the internet. But if you'd met the same woman in person, she could've found you attractive because she liked your personality and confidence.
- It's too easy for a women to dismiss a guy immediately because of his age online. On most dating and hook-up sites it's mandatory to state your age. But if you meet a woman in person, you have much more of a chance to display your personality and confidence before the subject of age comes up, and by that time the women could be attracted to you and be much more willing to overlook your age than she would if she'd first seen your profile online.
How internet dating and meeting women online has turned a generation of men into pussies who are scared to approach women
I feel that too much reliance on meeting women via the internet has had a negative effect on men's confidence and has turned them into a generation of men who lack the confidence to approach and interact with women in the real world.
This balance needs to be readdressed, and the starting point is for men to reduce their reliance on meeting women online and get out into the real world to meet them.
The other thing is, even if a guy meets a woman online, he's still going to have to meet up with her in person at some point (well, that's if the interaction actually gets to that point), and if he has low confidence in interacting with women in person then he's not going to get anywhere with her when he meets up.
Also, people can be very different online than they are in real life and it's hard to get a feel for what their personality and demeanor is like over the internet, so basically when you meet a woman in person who you originally met online, you're more or less starting from scratch in terms of getting to know her.
Why it's more efficient and effective to meet women in the real world, especially if you're a Direct guy
When you Direct approach a woman in the real world, you stand out from other guys, because women don't get approached that much in the real world, especially not Direct and during the daytime. But when you 'approach' a woman online, you're just another guy, just another profile, just another inbox message to her. There's nothing to make you stand out from other men. You're much more likely to be remembered by a woman if you approach her in the real world, especially in the daytime Direct.
Also, it take real confidence to approach a woman in person, and you can convey that confidence face to face far easier that you could online.
Women also like the sound of a guy's voice, so
When you approach a woman in person, it doesn't take too much of your time. You don't have to spend weeks messaging back and forth for an interaction that ends up going nowhere. Nope. Direct approaches tend to be short and sweet, so even if you don't get the result you're looking for you haven't wasted much time.
There's also virtually no competition when you meet women in the real world, especially Direct in the daytime, because guys rarely approach in that setting, so you've already got a huge advantage just by approaching.
I hope you can now see that meeting women online isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that it's much more effective and efficient to meet them in person.