And then there is the subject of 'flirting'. Mainstream dating advice tells us that we should 'flirt' with women we're attracted to, as this will supposedly increase the level of sexual chemistry between you and them.
But are 'being funny' and 'flirting' actually all they're cracked up to be, and can they actually become a hinderance to being successful with women?
First of all, I think having a sense of humour is a good thing, as nobody likes people who are deadly serious all the time. However, there is a big difference between having a sense of humour and 'being funny'. Many guys take the whole humour thing way too far and become a clown, a 'Mr Funny Man' type around women, always cracking loads of jokes, using 'cocky/funny' PUA style routines, etc in the mistaken believe that this is attractive to women.
In my experience, and also feedback I've gotten from a lot of different guys, try too hard to 'be funny' can actually be detrimental to being seen in a romantic/sexual light by women. 'Being funny' often causes women to see you as their personal entertainment/platonic friend sort of guy. They may enjoy your company and have a laugh with you, but they won't sleep with you or date you, and they definitely won't take you seriously.
Now, as for flirting, I define flirting as a sort of 'playful banter, with subtle, hinted sexual innuendos thrown in'. If you think about it, there is a vast difference between 'flirting' and 'being sexually Direct' with women. A lot of guys mistakenly believe that by 'flirting', they are somehow adding a sexual element to the conversation and letting te girl know their intentions, but in my opinion 'flirting' simply comes across as really vague as you are not really stating your intentions directly, you are merely hinting at them.
Also, in my experience, 'flirting' can all too easily degenerate into a 'funny man' routine and miss the point completely.I do not feel that 'flirting' is all it's cracked up to be. I think it's far more effective to state your intentions directly, i.e. verbally.
A good example of a Direct approach is Javier Bardem's character in the film 'Vicky Christina Barcelona' where he approaches the two women in the restaurant. He doesn't try to 'be funny'. He doesn't 'flirt' with them. Instead, he's very Direct and sexually straighforward with them. I recommend you watch that scene if you ever get the chance. It may be a film, but that scene is actually very realistic, and you will learn a lot about the sort of demeanour and vibe you need to have when you do a Direct approach.
I see a lot of normal guys turn into 'Mr Funny Man' as soon as they are around women they're attracted to. It's like they change their whole personality and can't simply be themselves around women.
Now don't get me wrong, I do not think you should be 'Mr Deadly Serious' all the time around women. Laughter, smiles and humour make life more enjoyable and make people feel good. Just don't take it too far and become a laughing clown/dancing monkey around women you're attracted to. It's a mistake too many guys make.
And if do enjoy a laugh or too with women, make sure you've been Direct with them about your intentions first, so that they know what you want and that you're not just there to entertain them with a your cheesy jokes :-)